Fudge It (Part 1)

My office is a very strange place to work. I would categorize them in three different classes

1. There are people who help you without hesitation.

2. There are also others who screw you properly if they help you.

3. Obviously there have to people who really screw you and also provide no help.

I, sadly, work in an environment which has many people who screw you and provide no help, few people who screw and help and exactly one person who helps without hesitation(though I keep that person only for special questions because I would not want him/her to migrate to any other category). So my experiences here have been very weird and also utterly unsatisfactory. But then my voice is just a tinkle on a football field.

One experience I had with a person who lies in the 3 category will explain my hatred towards them. There was a major problem and I was just a spectator to the whole conversation. We had to report the issues which assigned to us and for that the "supervisor" called us for a meeting with these hot shots as they call themselves in their dreams. I along with my comrades prepare ourselves for the onslaught(onslaught, because we had not worked on the issues assigned to us, but only managed excuses to get out of a mess, if any). A final practice before we face them. Ok. We are ready.

Scene: In the cabin of our nemesis 1

"What is the status of the work that I had assigned to you last week?"

Me : "Sir I have already given the status over mail 2 days ago. And also talked to you over the phone regarding the pending issue which is not a complication. "

"Why do you send me a mail? Why can you not give me the status by talking to me."

Me : "Sir, I talked to you on the phone."

"Did you?"

Me : "Yes sir. I had called you 2 days back and also sent a mail."

Slowly he checks his mail not believing a word I said. Also the trust factor comes in. These people, whom I call my NEMESIS 1, does not believe a word we ever say as they believe whatever we say can not be true. Even if we go one day and tell them that the system is crashed they would not believe it. Only after making us sit there for three quarters of an hour does he realize the gravity of the situation at hand. Finally after the long endearing process of searching the mail he acknowledges me and says, "Yes, Yes." . Even though my work is done I had to sit through the whole process of him interrogating every other person in that room who did not work directly under him.

Another frustrating part of this office is that they seem to love toilet talk. Well at least most of them do. If you want to use the washroom you should be a hundred percent sure that none of my arch nemesis is around and also anticipate that they might not use the loo. It is a game actually.

Scene: They catch you in the toilet

You are standing there doing your business in the toilet. Door opens, in comes Nemesis 2. He seems to be delighted to have found me in the toilet. But does not show it yet. I am unaware as to who has entered into the bathroom and continue doing what I was doing. Suddenly there is a voice which calls my name. I cannot turn, because of obvious reasons.

Me : "Hello Sir."

" What happened to the pending issue that someone had reported to me regarding the changes for the .... (blah blah)?"

Me : (Most definitely blank)"I am sorry sir? I do not know what you are talking about."

"Arre.. Woh nahi tha kya?...... (blah blah again)"

Me : "I am working on that sir." (but he does not realize that the issue I was working on right at that moment had stopped functioning.)

Me : (thinking) "damn will have to get back later."

As soon as I come out wash my hands and prepare to take leave. He occupies his position as goes about his business without any hassles and turns and says, "OK we will discuss this later. (DAMN HIM DAMN HIM)". A humble "yes" and I am out of there.

Sometime instead of discussing work he tends to discuss different topics other than work and if he is in a jovial mood then he would talk about anything. I can not think about any other thing but he enjoys small talk while carrying forth his business.

There is also my nemesis 1. He does not enjoy small talk in the toilet. But if he sees you in the toilet he would silently go about his business clean his hands dry them up and walk out of the toilet. Walk till his cabin. Settle down comfortably. Think about something or clean up his desk. Count till 5. And then pick up the phone ands calls for you to give the status of the problems which might be pending against you.