My Drunken Conversations

Defining art. Sitting there mesmerized by the true colors used in a painting if ever you have seen one. Admiring the brush stroke. Would I really define art as been that of a classy painter who uses brilliant colors? No, I dont think so. I would define art as .... lets see. Art according to me is creative. It is the amalgamation of talent and clarity of thought.

"No, it is not according to me. I respect your point of view. But hear it out. What is creativity? If you can create something out of nothing is not creativity. Creativity is a thought within you. A thought of excelling in one, two, or any number of activities."

But then doing something like that would require something like should I term it as a Catalyst.

I would say you require guts. Guts to actually think in that field. Everyone looks at safety. But how many decide on living happily. They pretend to buy happiness. Most of them are successful. But as far as my experience goes happiness is where your heart is. Now a days, my heart beats for a reason to live. But not to experience every moment.

"You say Catalyst. I say realization. You have lost your heart and have started out to find it. That is a result of realization. Your creativity sticks by you no matter what. It is asking you, begging you for attention....."

But there is a hurdle. The hurdle of safety over satisfaction.

"Safety lies where your heart is. If you think I am creative it is because you have seen my drawings and letting me know. Heard of this?... Jack of all trades, king of none..... "

Yeah sure. Are you telling me that you are the Jack?

"I believe, I am the Jack. Would rather be jack of all trades and apply creativity every where. Evenly distributed. No disparity. That would help me better myself to any situation I would have to face."

Thats a good one.

Slightly modified. Reason should be clear. As neither source nor writer remember the exact events. Special thanks to people who influenced me into writing this.

If any additions or suggestions please do let me know.

The Tailor made Earth

Long has life been thriving on this planet. Long have People started existing. There has been blooming flowers, extravagant forest, colorful rainbows, vast rivers, beautiful animals, and of course Man. Nature according to me had decided on something before eventually unravelling this gift to Mankind. The thought that no one can even imagine. I cannot tell that to you as of now because it is still one of  "Nature's Mysteries". But then there was Man, then there was civilization, then there was pride, after that came war and now its not long before it leads to depletion of everything that was made for man to exist, to survive. Man was created to add further beauty to earth, thats at least what I think if you think otherwise please feel free to object, but then self esteem brought him down. When I look around myself I find beauty, so much of beauty around me that really brings peace to my mind. Wandering alone, because the sight of another human being, even myself, disgusts me sometimes. The sheer attitude of people towards everything disturbs every last cell of peace within me. But the frustration is part of life as some say. And at every moment of frustration there is something which really negates it and brings a moment of happiness. I say this because I have experienced it and also because there is a theory which is accepted worldwide, which says "Every action has an Equal and opposite reaction". That moment of happiness really makes me forget a lot many things. I think that is the way of nature. Its wrath will shower upon us. But then it tries to keep us happy for as long as it can with Nature's Beauty. I sure hope man does realize this and understand the whole situation in which he acts the fool. Always.

Hatred Art Thou

What is life unless you have laid an impression upon somebody to change theirs or to the fact that you are a true inspiration to achieve something grand, spectacular. I have got this feeling many a times but then to no avail. Everytime i think up of something it brings a change. But then something happens that changes everything. Sleep. You are drained of every thought to do good and eventually succumb to the weak memory you possess and go ahead with your day to day life. In my life, "Moving cinema" plays a huge part in these thoughts. It starts it and then I have the honours of finishing that euphoria of creating either a masterpiece or a genuine suggestion to improve, to enthrall my audience. I know not what is the problem, I ask not anyone as to avoid the obvious embarassment. I swallow things to another dimension never to remember it ever again, as it would cause that so called mental imbalance within myself.

There are domestic violence, international violence even local violence these days. Hatred my friend for everyone. Recently the Sikhs were angered by the attack by somebody's bodyguards on a local sikh. That was the trigger to amount to vast hatred towards everyone. They went all out to have a Bandh on a saturday. It led to violence on innocent people. Trains were stopped, roads were blocked, shutters brought down. Changes the whole scenario of the weekend. Changes actually much more than that. This is just all very easy. A comment by an influential person results in tyres burning, slogan shouting, people yelling. The police at the end of the day, struggle, once for and once against the very same people they work to protect.

This is not a blog to awaken the souls within and do something to change the hatred. Not necessarily into love but to indifference. Atleast then the emotion quotient would not be present and people would no longer hate or love another person. And that day I believe there would be peace. God forbid this from happening. But it is god which is creating this mess. Or should I say the god divided by man? Well this is very debatable topic but anyways we are already in trouble. Is it time to debate? Or a time to surrender? Or a time to fight? I myself am understanding it till now. But have not yet materialised. Though, What is life unless you have laid an impression upon somebody to change theirs or to the fact that you are a true inspiration to achieve something grand, spectacular. Something worth every effort.

The Fight Against Conscious

I was standing there drinking my tea. The area normally is full of energy. Full of life. There are noise of people laughing, people shouting. People who have something to talk about everything. People who have lots to say. Even more to crib about. But today there was nothing. Absolute silence. I wondered for a second if I am able to listen to something, even a word. It would liven my senses and make me believe that I have not lost one of my senses. The feeling was in itself very depressing. It felt as though something had passed by and ruined my ability to listen or concentrate on the slightest sound that should have been but was'nt. It was scary. My mind made me believe there was no sound. But in actual there should have been. It cant be that there is no sound. The sound of horn, the kettle overflowing with tea crying out loud.
It was just something that should have been there but never existed. The whole scene was horrific. Gently sipping my tea I realised that my mind, my thinking, my soul was playing tricks on me. It was trying to potray an illusion for my senses to figure. It was making me give up on my senses. It was making me to overcome my sanity and shout. I asked it to stop doing such things. I am sane. I am not troubled.
I have had such experiences before. But always it feels as though it was the first time that had happened. The feeling normally comes when I give up or am low on faith. To either prove that I am wrong or it was something else. I dont know. It just wipes my control. Strips me off. Make me feel naked. And everytime I realise just in time and recover. Recover to fall a prey again to my minds traumatic illusions. I wonder if this happens to everybody. But asking somebody about it is also very embarrasing. Is it true that one can lose control. Thinking about this does not help nor does it come up with a solution. What should be done. Cant be just said. Has to be implemented. But HOW?
I am still trying to drive that illusion away by listening to songs and every word which is of no purpose. Just to prove that i can listen. I can hear to what you are saying to me. I am not deaf any more. I shall fight you. I shall succeed. Come ON. I should not give in. I will make myself believe in me. I shall survive. COME ON.

Newton Discovered Gravity because he was BORED

What does one do when he has nothing to do. He obviously gets bored. Like when I am bored I am writing this blog. This blog might contain nothing useful so reading this is of no use what so ever.
Come to think of it, when a person is bored he can make his time constructive by working on a new theory. Like when i was once bored i thought of writing a theory or an invention on glass. Glasses which provide sight and penetrate through anything. It gives you the vision of James Bond kinda glasses. When i was thinking about this, a thought came into my mind about light. What we call sight or vision is the absorption/reflection (it could be anything i was strong in physics then not now) of white light. A particular wavelength was absorbed and the rest of it was reflected. But what actually struck me was making a fool out of someone. Invent such pair of glasses which don't reflect any colour as in there is no vision. he he. The though is extremely stupid but mind you i really did think that this could be possible. I wrote something down and got it reviewed by myself because i could not risk showing this to any body and since i was bored i could do anything. But when i reviewed it, i myself was ashamed of my so-called genius. I gave up on my theory.
Another thought struck me then. But i cant remember what it is now because i forget things. So to remember my theory I had to get bored again as I am now and so are you if you have reached this point in the blog. So i suggest find something more interesting like what a kangaroo means or is there any chance of Atlantis existing. Boredom could never kill. It could lead to innovation. Who knows newton would be sitting under the apple tree wondering wtf and suddenly things happen. And at that point of time he was so bored, that he could develop a theory on gravity. Well, I am not calling myself Newton but at least half points for the attempt on the theory of ......
I need to think of a name for this theory.
Consider Archimedes. What was going on in his mind when he thought of buoyancy. The force exerted by the goblet or whatever it was that fell in the water displaced some amount of water. I agree it struck at that point and he created something out of it. But could he not think of it when he was entering the tub. I mean come on. The photographic illustrations of Archimedes moving around town naked should have suggested that he was pretty heavy and he would have caused more displacement. But then Einstein would have said Relative to his weight the weight of the container was more prominent. Don't ask me why Einstein would have said that. I just mentioned it because he talked first about relativity for every term.
Lets not forget the great Leonardo DaVinci. He could write, draw, paint with both his hands. He was a great architect. DaVinci was the kind of person who did not want to get bored. As soon as he got bored he thought of something to do. Imagine him standing in the balcony admiring the men outside, and trying to draw as many of those men in the least possible time. He must have got fed up because he would be eventually doing the same thing. So he tried different things. And succeeded because he was bored of the time he had in his hands.
Well, this is not to make fun of those great people who have given us some thing to think about and actually ponder on the things going around us. But to think of these great people really makes me feel good. You look at a portrait or whatever of any one of these people then you ponder and say now that's a man/woman who has done something good with his free time. This is what is missing these days. Most of everybody think they need to earn money. Money has become the major objective. But they fail to understand that they need to know about things around. About things they were meant to see. Now a days there are a very few Leonardo DaVinci, Newton, Einstein, and many other great names and many millionaires, billionaires. People make the person who has the most money famous. And who would not want to be famous?? But the question lies there but in a different way.... who would want to be famous????

Days of my life - The age of the Computer

You open your inbox to see mails from near and dear ones on the rare occasion of some one close getting married, parties trips to nearby places. But then that vanishes when one sees junk mail coming in.
The junk mail is a very frustrating kinda mail. You read through them every day. The first week it is like hey i finally got a mail in my inbox you would probably thank that person for sending you a mail by writing back to a forward trust me i have done that. For instance since i remember what has happened i had just opened my account on rediff. It was the time when email was relatively new and people considered the snail mail to be more trust worthy. The day i had opened my account, it took me the whole day to create it. Half of the things were new to me except for the keyboard, monitor, mouse and the other parts which we could see from the outside and were listed in the bill that had come home. At first i was afraid to touch the computer because it was costly and heavy. But once everything was installed including the Internet my joy knew no bounds. I had no idea what was to be done on the Internet. My dad though had used the Internet at office so he was my hero as always, but he was selfish with his knowledge as, if he told me how to work on the Internet I would sit there staring at the wonders of a computer and surfing the net and concentrate less on my studies. But alas it did not help him nor did it help me as next day in school my friends were happy that another fellow had the net so they updated me with the in thing " EMAIL". They kept me informed about any latest sites that are giving better features, the fastest site and i like a mute person agreed to there suggestions blindly, not literally blind as i had to find the option for creating an account because in those days me looking at a screen which changes after i click at one point was magic. OK you could call me a computer illiterate. But eventually i could not do it, so i called a friend of mine who had many accounts in different sites to help me out. He was a experienced one and since he stayed quite a distance from my house we had to settle it on the phone. After the 1 hour long conversation, I had an account ready. It made me feel so proud. I sent everybody my "NEW" E-mail address. The typing was also slow so again another half an hour of turmoil and finding the right words for the mail, As my English teacher had taught me how to compose formal mails, (you know the QWERTY keyboard) I finished the mail and sent it again and again to every person's address i knew one by one. Just imagine my happiness the day i found out about Cc and Bcc. But well that time i did not and hence i sent each and everyone a mail family, friends everyone whose address i had written in a notebook along with my user id and password if i should forget. The ID is created, the initial mail sent, now comes the agonising wait for the reply. The reply did not take long as constant reminders to friends in school to update my email address and accommodate it in their address book resulted in positive publicity. But the first mail came from family which was good to see. The next from a close friend. After that my first reply to the mail. The first mail from a girl. I had created a separate folder for mails from girls because for me that time they were special now it is so for special girls but forget it. All this was during my first few months of email. Then came the messengers and the rest but that is irrelevant to the mail.
What i was writing here about was junk mail. The first time i received a Junk forward, I was so mystified by that technique in which the mail was created that i replied back to him saying it was a genuine piece of art. Bet, the person who must have read the reply must have been proud of himself but as of this moment i am not quite proud. Those were good old days. In between now and then there was a time when there was limited space for mails. So forwards were not welcome. Constant reminders sent across to stop overflowing my inbox, Separate folders still for girls mails. Deleting unwanted mails. Sending mails to people to stop sending chain mails for asking me to donate blood.
After this was the time of unlimited storage. The age where you don't delete a mail. Any person sends a mail and infinite people re send the same mail, same forward. In Hindi as they say "kutte jaise mail bhej rahe hai". In every inbox for a day there would be at least 25 forward for the day and out of them 10 would be the same mail. I know this could be exageration but it could happen and denying the fact does not help in any way.
The whole concept of a forward is over. Anyways forwards were here to stay as I say and my word they sure do stay.

As the title goes

Everything i know, it starts with this and hopefully would end with this because as far as i know, i have the capability of ending on a very vague note but hopefully it would be logical, and since it is everything i know this should not be a problem.
To start with, I know this is my first blog hence writing it is a bit difficult but i am writing it just to get used to writing or rather typing things that would make sense to me and of course people who read it by mistake.
I know a lot about football, some call it a game for hooligans, others call it the gods game, all i know of this is that it a game that i would play or for that fact anybody would play with his/her heart like any other game. So why football why not any other game? Some people have asked me that question, I find it very difficult to answer it because it is very difficult to justify something you really like if it is without reason. You possibly cannot justify passion for the game or for a team. You cannot justify the hours of hard work for a good game. You can only justify using the words its my passion and i like the game very much. But in some cases if somebody asks me why is there so much passion for it then my mind would go blind. No answer would come. Football has been my passion for years now, 7 to be precise that was an indirect indication that I am not very old. Though i doint think anybody would get it. But anyways even today if anybody ask me i still have not found an answer to that question, not that i am looking for the answer to that question but it makes me wonder.
The next thing I know is my music. Music has been my life, it is a great soul booster. Music is for every occasion. Music when you are drunk, music when you are happy music when you are sad etc. That's the best thing about music, a song or a tune for every occasion in life. Even in music there is one thing i don't understand like there is for football. The type of music we listen to. Most people's choices are restricted or they are vast of a particular genre. That i totally respect a persons choice is of his own, but then the inevitable question arises. Questions such as why do you listen to such music or in Hindi " tumhare kaan nahi fat te kya ye sun kar ". As a person from India the tolerance levels are very high but then the tolerance for people around for music is very low. They don't tend to understand that, " I like this kind of music that is why i listen to it " or since the question is in Hindi let us answer it in Hindi " Mujhe ye pasand hai, Usme tera kya ". But then that would sound quite rude so an Indian like me (I am flattered) would just give a meek smile of consideration for the persons words and actually make actions which would prove he is right. And the person who attacked my music would call it a victory and bounce forward searching for more people on whom he could give his very successful advice. This is all said and done because the tolerance level in music is very high but also very shallow.
Coming to work, I know work bores me a lot and even talking about it is of no use because it would cause me only frustration that would be the bad part of work. But some days, which is very rare, when i enjoy my work. The day i get things done easily. So easily that things pile up on me. That would be just my day but then the next day i realise that I cant keep up the good work like yesterday and have loads of work today which wont be done until the next uprising. Though one thing i noticed about work, people who are my enemies by the end of this blog, never question work not considering people you work with but people who ask but never listen. People back home show interest in what I am saying only for a maximum of 2 seconds. After that they switch of and nod their heads in mere approval. But this is the story in their heads, "he is not in the US, unlike my son, once he is done with i need to go and ask some other boy whether he is going to the US. I wonder if he is going to the US which university would he be going. But how could this fellow not go to the US the opportunities there are more(though i have no idea of the opportunities) the place is clean unlike India ....................." this is a very small dialogue in their mind. This is just the prelude of the infinite suggestions they would have for me if i hadn't started talking about my "Job". But then the reactions on the peoples faces is just amazing for which i would talk over and over again. But then again the people i fear the most are the people who are actually listening. As I would have no idea that they are listening to me and they would ask doubts which raise doubts about my working efficiency and the obvious embarrassment. The above is considering the fact they have no idea and just by listening to my words ask questions, imagine my plight if there was a person who actually knew my work. The conversation would be just great or the simplest of them would be....
Me - " I am doing some thing for some company "
Nemesis - " That something you do what exactly is it? "
Me - "If i were to explain it, it means working with a government company and helping it reach a deadline in so-so field "
Nemesis - "Is that so? I myself have worked in that. You must be doing this and that then? "
Me - " Yes. I would be doing that but right now I am studying for CAT or probably even GRE hope to get into a good university "
Nemesis - " Oh good. Lost yet another one to the Brain Drain eh?"
Me - " Yeah I guess "
Even though I am not interested in giving any competitive exam i have to lie to avoid being embarrassed. But this i know could go bad if the Male is interested in my work and his female in my going to the US.
My 3 aspects of life have been covered and out of them 2 are my passion and one is a compulsion for survival that is what most people with me say. But these 3 have a common factor, I have my interest so does any one but then my interest are questioned and asked to be justified. Which i don't, as justifying a person who does not understand " I do it because I like it " it would be very difficult into making him understand what liking exactly is even the dictionary would probably fail in making him realise the words like, passion and devotion towards sport/music.
I did not mention food because it is essential and should be enjoyed in every aspect and the same goes for drinking occasionally or even regularly and i mean water also.